Headed To Your Hometown? Here Is How To Stay Confident This Holiday!

Hello my travel girl gang! With turkey day rapidly approaching, I want to talk about that one tiny pit we always have in our stomachs when it comes to the holiday's: traveling back to your hometown. 

DUN-DUN-DUUUUNNNN!!!

(and just in case your day's blend together from the months of October-December like mine do, Thanksgiving is next Thursday the 27th so be sure to order that pumpkin pie from the grocery store for those of us who can't cook)

But seriously, your hometown during the holiday's can be stressful, difficult, and daunting to navigate. You're dealing with family you don't call enough, relatives you haven't seen in a year, old friends and new friends mingling, and that one ex or old hookup you fear is lurking around the corner of every bar.

However, luckily you have me! If there's one thing I, Ava Daly know how to do, it's laugh through an uncomfortable situation and somehow come out of it feeling more confident than I was before. So my lovely ladies, here is your hometown confidence survival guide to keep in your back pocket this holiday season. 

If you need to be reminded of who you are, than it'd be my honor to tell you that:

• YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL
• YOU'RE FUNNY
• YOU'RE INTELLIGENT
• YOU'RE SEXY
• YOU'RE LOVING
• YOU'RE COMPASSIONATE
• & YOU ARE ALL OF THOSE THINGS NO MATTER WHERE IN THE WORLD YOU ARE!!!

The most important thing to remember about being back in your hometown is that you don't revert back to who you were before you left. As soon as you drive through that metaphorical "Welcome Back" sign you see in Hallmark movies, you don't do some reverse Cinderella-like transformation where you suddenly have braces and a ton of angst (just me?). 

I always tell people that my life really didn't get started until I graduated from Saint Petersburg High School and carved my own world outside of the 727. Since then, I've traveled, gotten pierced and tattooed, had formative people come in and out of my life, and become the writer I've always wanted to be. Plus, I was perhaps one of the WORST students of all time in high school, I'm talking the most mediocre 2.8 GPA and a bounty of absences. However, college Ava is a straight A student (although, I could still stand to work on my attendance😉)

My point is, don't make returning out to be reminding yourself of who you once were, but a stellar opportunity to remind people of who you are now!

Now these, I fear nobody can avoid whether your kin is calling you too fat or too thin (depressing rhyme, am I right?). Or heck, even if they're saying you look great, and asking "Have you lost a couple pounds?" because it still makes you feel like you're swimming around in the worlds most uncomfortable fishbowl.

I find the best way to handle 'em is by laughing in their face, and then letting your relative know in the politest way possible that your body is none of their f-ing business!!! I mean seriously, has your Aunt Susan or Uncle Dan really forgotten the golden rule:

✨treat people the way you would want to be treated✨ 

Alas, I think we've all truly forgotten what the holiday's are about. Celebration, joy, merriment, togetherness, and most importantly: Drinking ALL of the delicious beverages, and eating ALL of the yummy foods.

I mean c'mon ladies? In the midst of trying to keep a steady workout schedule and watching what you eat, you deserve to treat yourself!!!

I'm not saying binge or eat until you're sick, but let your head and your heart tell you what you want and be intuitive as you fill your cup and load your plate. 

Balancing old friendships, new friendships, and the friends who feel a little bit blue this time of year can make for one emotionally exhausting layover while back at home. The kind of layover where you have to ball-up your hoodie and use it as a pillow whilst napping on the airport floor.

With some friendships, you can fall back into the swing of things seamlessly where it feels like time has stood still. Then there are others that maybe slipped through the cracks, that feel a bit more distant than you realized. And there are those friends who are struggling quietly under the weight of the season.

The key to this treasure chest of all over the place?

Stay grounded in who you are now.

Whenever I am going through anything, my therapist Michelle asks me: how much of what you are feeling is grounded in the present and rooted in the past?

And that question is genuinely one of the best pieces of advice I've ever gotten when it comes to self-regulating and getting back on track.

So with that being said, show up with compassion and warmth, keep your boundaries soft but steady, and don't shrink yourself to fit into a past version of you. 

Leaving room for growth is of course important-- in yourself, in them, and in the friendships that are quietly rebuilding themselves or gently fading away.

And most importantly, remind yourself that you don’t have to carry the emotional weight of the room. When it comes to this one, don't be so hard on yourself. I chip away at this iceberg-like characteristic everyday.

You're allowed to be the one having a good time, you're allowed to be the one who feels confident, and you're allowed to be the one who experiences peace.

Is there anything more deliciously awkward than rounding the corner of your favorite bar and bumping into an old ex or past hookupThe hilariously hypocritical thing about it being that we sort of want it to happen until it actually does, and usually when we least expect it.

It's like the universe testing you with something that has the capacity to make you: scream, cry, throw-up, or maybe even revert back into some naughty old behaviors you swore you'd never do again. 

And if you're anything like me, you'll do what my friends call my "She-Hulking"... Let's just say men don't like me when I'm angry😇 (please tell me you got that Marvel reference)

Here's the true but painful pill to swallow: you're not the same person you were when you dated them--or when you paid an Etsy witch to put a curse on him.

You're older, wiser, and sexier. But, if there's one thing I know, is you CANNOT tell a woman what to do when she's in the same vicinity as a man she once shared a connection with. Which is why, the choice is yours...

You can ignore him, smile at him, wave at him, or heck, even let him buy you a drink if you want (call it reparations for emotional damages). 

Just please whatever you choose, let it come from confidence, not nostalgia. 

They say that blood is thicker than water... 

Well I say, that during the holiday's your bloods heads become thick as they ask you the most diabolically insane questions that leave you reeling and questioning every decision you've ever made😃 

Before you've even taken your coat off it's:

"How's school?"

"How's work? Are you still writing?"

"Are you dating anyone? What about that one guy from last year, you still talk to him ever?"

"You're on track to graduate right?"

"Are you worried you won't make enough money writing or teaching?"

You'' immediately want the strongest glass of eggnog you can get your hand on, and then some.

But here's the secret: you don't have to curate the perfect answer, because anything you say will still have a range of opinions LOL!!!

So don't rehearse, don't perform, and don't map out your entire future as you munch on cheese and crackers.

Instead, smile, give a breezy summary, and then get the heck outta there. Go talk to your younger cousins, go stand outside and say that you have a work call, or hide in your childhood bedroom while you polish off your drink and a plate of apps. 

The goal is to let them see you're grounded, evolved, and growing up at the pace that's perfect for you. I think we forget amidst relatives that boundaries don't have to just fly out the window! The holiday's are temporary, but your confidence isn't.

(P.S. old people can smell fear!!!)

Just like it says above, you are everything and more gorgeous♥️

I know firsthand just how overwhelming the holiday's can be (trust, this will publish on the day I'm driving back home from school) but I promise you will be better than okay.

You will be confident and beautiful.

So may your outfits be bangin', may your plates be stacked, and may your relatives stay quiet🫶 

As always ladies, happy traveling!

XO,

Ava

P.S. I am manifesting no delayed flights and no traffic as you embark on your journeys!! K love u bye!!!